Ian Doherty
4 min readMar 21, 2020

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The Right Thing

I am laying in my bed. It’s eight in the evening I think because it’s dark outside. I’ve been in my room for a few hours, since I got home from school. My mother was in the living room when we entered, but she did not greet us and we did not approach. The house smelled of liquor, so we knew to go straight to our room. I suppose it is good that she did not pick us up. That has happened before. Not fun. How old should you be when you wonder if you’ll die for the first time?

My brother is whining that he is hungry. We haven’t had dinner. You might not be so hungry if you didn’t throw away your sandwich at lunch and only eat your cookies I say. That was you he counters. Oh yeah I remember. Shit. Even though I don’t know that word yet. I am only eight. No wait seven. Has 911 happened yet. No. Damn I think I’m six. My class was supposed to visit the Central Park Zoo that weekend it was a real bummer. Where was I? Oh yeah, hungry.

We go downstairs and she is out like a light. We decide to go to our neighbour’s house. She helps us with this kind of thing. The door is locked. Maybe I can find the key. Oh wait I’m six. I can’t reach anything. There is a screeching sound. Daddies home from work.

Dad, Mom has been drinking again.

That’s nice buddy. He goes to sit in the armchair and soon enough he is out too. I try shaking him. It’s not very effective. Up until now they were organised well enough that this didn’t happen to both of them at the same time.

Where is my sister? She should be like twelve right now, so probably getting high somewhere; I don’t know. She lives in our basement and puberty is hitting her hard.

We try the door again. Somehow still locked. And I’m still hungry. At school they gave us a very special talk about drugs that actually looked a lot like this. Should I do the part where I drink some of their booze and die? No they probably haven’t left any. Maybe later.

When they gave us the talk there was a police officer there. He had a gun. Also a bitchin moustache. I asked him if he ever got to fire it. He said he hoped he never had to. Not like my dad. He has one and hopes very much someone gives him a reason to use it. I wonder if I could find it. I could probably wake him up quickly.

Instead I get the phone. What’s my neighbour’s number. I don’t know. What’s my aunt’s number. I don’t know. I know I’ll call the cops.

Hello, officer my parents appear to be suffering from alcohol poisoning, my brother is crying a lot, and I really regret not eating that sandwich; so could I get a double pepperoni?

The man who arrives does not have a moustache. But he does open the window from the outside to enter, that’s pretty cool. I have my first ride in a cop car. There is a fire truck and everything outside my house. Seems like overkill, but what do I know I’m six.

We get to the station and finally eat something from the vending machines. My aunt comes to pick us up and we stay with her for a while. This is not the only time this will ever happen.

My father will later tell me I did the right thing. His voice cracks as he says it and there are tears in his eyes. Did I do the right thing? I don’t even know what that is. I’m six and I was scared, nothing is right about any of this.

This was not the first time my mother passed out but up until this point I didn’t know my father had the same problem. He did it away from home you see she did it at home sometimes in the morning as well as the night. He, I thought just had to work all the time and was sleeping in the mornings, so it wasn’t anything weird that I could go whole weekdays without actually seeing him.

Eventually I wouldn’t see him for a long time. They split and she took us to Ireland, land of the perpetually shitfaced. We would stay with our same aunt once or twice more. Woman really cannot hold her liquor.

It has been almost twenty years since that night. The last time I saw my dad was several years ago, after the funeral of his own father. We could go to a bar together this time. It was going well until it wasn’t. The last night before he went back, he got very full of something strong and so some other things had to come out. Things I already knew were there but didn’t want to know about. I decided not to go out that night. My sister had been back to see him a few times and knew what the score was. He was just locked in his ways. Mom has been good for a long time but still has the occasional, perhaps biannual episode. At least now I know to eat the damn sandwich when you have it and know how to make your own. Be prepared to make them for others. That’s the closest to the right thing I got.

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